Maybe you feel like a failure as a mother?
Sadly lots of Mums I meet tell me this is how they feel.
A word of wisdom here!
Beware False Guilt!
Mums are very good at heaping all the blame onto their own shoulders. Ask yourself honestly if your child’s self harming is your fault, and you will surely see that it is not so.
Causes of self harm are very complex and, for your child, having you around is a positive thing. Sure, you may have been in a bad place yourself at the time, or so busy that you didn’t notice their suffering, or you may have misread the signs of a depressed teenager as just moodiness – but you are a human being after all!!
Talk to Jesus about it …
However, if you feel that there are areas where you have let your child down, don’t be afraid to come before your Heavenly Father and confess these. Also it is good to find a quiet place and ask Him to reveal anything to you that could have been done differently.
God Honours Repentance – it brings freedom!
Remember that if we confess our sins God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins. 1John 1:9 He knows us and loves us, and will pour out His grace upon us as we tell Him
Talk to your child about it
Also you could ask your teenager to forgive you. I know – radical !
Take them out somewhere or have dinner with them alone. If they are not in a place where communication is so easy why not write them a letter – or send them a text!
You know your child best, be sincere. There is a lot of literature written about how to talk to your teenager. This is one I love.
Even knowing that you are reading this book will make your teenagers aware that you are sincerely trying to understand them. In fact, my daughter brought a copy home one day and left it on my pillow! That really made me question how I was conveying – or failing to convey – my love for her.
Just a final word.
Never forget that God ordained the life of your child – and who his parents should be.
There are no unplanned parents in God’s kingdom. He knew you were the perfect parent for your child.
“God never does anything accidentally, and he never makes mistakes.” ( Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life )
Prayer for Today
Release us from the weight of false guilt and help us not to shoulder the blame when we are innocent. Reveal to us anything we need to repent of and forgive us if there are areas where we have failed. Be gracious to us and show us how we can do things better in the future. Give us wisdom to know ourselves and our children on a new and deeper level, and help us to develop sincere ways to communicate with them. Thank you that they are part of your glorious plan for our lives and help us to convey this to them so that they see themselves as valuable in your sight. Set them free from self harm forever, Lord.