Adoption and The Identity Hunt

The Identity Hunt.

This article was written by a lady who I have shared my heart with a few times now. My own daughter was adopted and went through terrible trauma in her adolescent years. Eventually she was given post-adoption counselling and, with the help of an amazingly gifted young lady, she discovered a lot about her birth family. It is a mystery really that inside every young person there is a Human Being desperately trying to understand who they are- genetically and spiritually. We must help our children in any way we can to find their true selves.

For me , I had to let my daughter explore a ‘world’ I had taken her away from – a world of mental health issues, of promiscuity, of abuse. If frightened me and I wondered if she could cope with the truth but I soon realised that when a young person  feels that secrets are being kept from them, or situations denied them, fear and insecurity takes them over. For my daughter, the fear of  unknown secret things was too heavy a burden to carry. When she discovered some uncomfortable truths about her birth family, she admitted to being shocked and upset but actually her self-harming diminished and her self respect started to blossom.

It is a mystery how something uncomfortable can bring freedom, but that’s the power of truth for you!

Never be afraid of an adolescent’s search for identity….it is a search for truth …and truth brings freedom .

If this issue is causing you pain right now please feel free to email me personally on or leave your comment below. Press ‘follow’ to receive further posts, should you wish to be updated.

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2 Responses to Adoption and The Identity Hunt

  1. Thank you for sharing. I pray that many parents can learn that finding out one’s identity can be a great part of the healing process for those adopted. And we can be a part of that healing by being the support they need. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

    • asha says:

      Thank you Stacy. You are right, we can be part of the healing. I made a decision never to feel that my daughter’s birth family were either competition or a threat. It can be hard sometimes because we can be faced with rejection but this is short-lived and all the years of love and nurture do speak for themselves. My daughter faced her demons with me and my husband at her side. i wouldn’t like to think of any teenager going through the turmoil of finding her genetic identity alone. If parents can’t support their children in this painful area, I really beg them to find themselves someone to stand side by side with them so that they can allow truth to reign and freedom to flourish . Thank you Stacy for being here for others. Anyone reading this in the UK can contact us at MASH for advice. God Bless

      Liked by 1 person

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