The Weapon of Choice– Where Wounds Are Not Seen

Amen.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

Too many do not realize the damage that is done by hurtful words and actions, believing that the only “real” abuses are physical or sexual. But these verbal and emotional abuses cause wounds deep to our spirits and souls and set up many for failure, especially during this day and time with cyber-bullying with the various social media. The wounds inflicted are not visible to the naked eye… but God sees all the wounds and every cause. Nothing is hidden from God.

The weapon of choice…
where wounds are not seen.
With words and actions…
that are hurtful and mean.
Like calling someone “fat”…
  with laughter causing shame…
causing more emotional eating…
and extra weight that is gained.

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NEW COURSE STARTS MARCH 17TH IN EPPING

GREAT NEWS

 Imovement8In partnership with theministryofparenting.com is delighted to announce a new course for parents and carers of people who self-harm.

F.L.A.S.H ( Families Learning About Self Harm ) 

Book your place soon or pass on this information to anyone you know who might benefit.

WHEN ? Thursdays 7.30pm – 9.30pm starting 17th March 2016

WHERE ? At The Box, St John’s Road, Epping, Essex, CM16 5DN 

WHAT’S IT ABOUT ?

  • Are you concerned about a young person aged 10-18 who may be self -harming?
  • Do you want more information on self-harm and how to manage the concerns within your home?
  • Do you feel alone and would like the opportunity to discuss the problem with people who will understand?

Then the FLASH Course may be what you’re looking for:

  • There is NO COST to attend the course
  • Each session lasts 2 hours
  • Refreshments are provided.

All enquiries/referrals to: The Box, St Johns’s Road, Epping, Essex, CM16 5DN or Email: kate.collin212@gmail.com tel:07951 484805/01992 577300

for more information about the organisation please go to

http://www.theministryofparenting.com

Please note that MASH still operates as a support network in Loughton Essex, although the Monday group at the Methodist church is no longer available.

If you cannot attend the Epping course, or need one to one support, feel free to ring 0203 086 8186 ( option 3). MASH will get back to you asap.

 

 

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ONCE UPON A TIME …the Rhino in the Meadow

ONCE UPON A TIME….

THE RHINO IN THE MEADOW

A Story of acceptance…..

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Once upon a time the King of All The Earth created a beautiful meadow full of flowers of every possible colour and fragrance imaginable. It was a very special place and many creatures lived  there together. They revelled in its divine beauty, drinking in the aromatic perfume of lilies, lavender, and lilac, to name just a few. As they danced around in the meadow it felt to them like they were floating amidst the heady perfume, and they seemed to lose all their cares and worries. Predators did not come near them as the King of All the Earth had made it a secure place, with a mighty wall around it. It was known by those around it as a place of goodness and its fine fragrance floated across the whole land, drawing many to its walls.

Within the meadow lived one very royal creature. She was very happy there and danced around like a ballerina, breathing in the fragrant air and laughing to herself at the sheer absurdity of her situation. You see she wasn’t your typical light-footed dancing queen, and ‘her sort’ were not well known for their agility or dexterity because this ballerina was in fact a Rhino!

 

 

‘Critically endangered’ northern white rhino Nola dies: only three remain

Yes you can laugh now can’t you? Can you picture her on tiptoes spinning around? And she would laugh with you as- once upon a time- she too thought the idea was preposterous.

Not so long ago our ‘little Rhino’ had been drawn by the beautiful fragrance that had drifted her way. Following the scent she had come to the meadow wall and looked over. Completely overcome by the sight of the beautiful flowers and by their divine fragrance, she began to ask whose meadow it was.

This is when she met the King of All the Earth. He greeted her kindly and told her that this was His meadow and that she was welcome to come in and enjoy it. Others came along too, and having met the King they also wanted to live in his meadow. This is where Rhino came into her own! She decided that she would use her great strength to help those smaller creatures who couldn’t climb over the wall. She would bid them climb upon her great horn and lift them over the wall.

Some days tiny little hedgehogs and other such beasts came along and Rhino was afraid she would  injure them if she dropped them over the wall, and so she simply battered a hole through the brick so that her  friends could run through.  For a long time the Rhino came to the walls and helped others, and whilst she was there she would chat with the King. She felt she had found the most amazing friend but she never went into the meadow.

“Why”? You might ask.

Well each day our little Rhino would approach the wall and look over. She would gaze upon the beautiful pink flamingos and envy their elegance, at once realising that she was fat and had rolly-poly parts that they might laugh at.  She would watch them spin around on their beautiful long legs and wish hers weren’t so stumpy and …well…wide!

The King of All the Earth watched his lovely Rhino and decided to encourage her. The next day when she arrived at the wall she found a big sign had been erected.

Rhinos Welcome

 

For a moment little Rhino’s heart skipped a beat. She approached the wall and looked over. But she didn’t see any other Rhinos. She could only see elegant creatures with long legs or silky wings spinning about in flawless harmony.

‘That’s really no place for me’, she thought sadly and wondered away.

The next day the fragrance had grown even sweeter and as she yet again approached the wall, she came upon another sign

 

ALL Rhinos welcome here.

Oh how badly she wanted to believe that this sign was meant for her. Surely it could be, after all she was a Rhino and the sign said…..but NO, there must be a mistake. She ran away as quickly as her little fat legs could take her and hoped that none of the elegant creatures within the walls had seen her. But someone had seen her. The K
ing of All the Earth had been watching and was sad that she hadn’t heeded his sign. He knew that the next day she would be back and sure enough she was. This time the sign was much much bigger- and bolder

 

ALL RHINOS MOST WELCOME HERE –

YES YOU!  YOU!     REALLY!

Ps. I will teach you to dance.

 

Just as the little Rhino was deliberating, she heard voices.

‘Hello Rhino’ a little voice called out. She looked down and saw a ladybird spinning around, wings unfurled.

‘Why don’t you come in and play? ‘Frantically looking for an excuse she muttered ‘I can’t climb the wall, I can’t dance and I am very fat’.

At once all the creatures joined in the conversation

‘Not fat, strong. Strong enough to have helped a lot of us over the wall’

‘The King will teach you to dance’

‘Knock down the wall, just as you did for me’

Then all at once the pink flamingos gathered and squealed

‘Come on in now. We will help’.

Looking behind her she could see the King of All the Earth smiling and nodding His approval and with one massive effort she lifted a leg onto the wall.

‘Oh help me, I can’t climb as I am after all I am a …’ but she never got any further.

Many creatures large and small appeared and cheered loudly as the King of All the Earth came over to the wall and with one swoop of His arm, lifted her clearly over the wall into the meadow.

She didn’t even have to learn to dance!

Engulfed in the sweet fragrance of the flowers and surrounded by her new friends she simply spun around with complete abandon.

She gazed at the flamingos and felt proud to be amongst them. She knew she did not dance the way they did.

She couldn’t spin, but boy could she stomp!
Rhino dancing

 

 

 

Furthermore other smaller creatures were in the habit of climbing onto her horn and joining in the fun.

Some days she looked out over the wall and saw others coming towards it.

‘Get the sign out’ she would call to the King of All the Earth ‘there might be some more Rhinos ….’

 

 

BE YOURSELF…YOU ARE UNIQUE 

 

 

 

 

 

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Coping with Christmas

Thanks to thinktwice for these helpful words.

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Tweenagers and Pornography

Sometimes self-harm is caused by shame, and teens feel they cannot talk to us about the stuff that goes on in their world.

Internet pornography and sexting has become a massive pressure for our teenagers but they are not likely to come and ask parents for advice.

So what do we do ? 

This is a very useful video for young teens who may have come across unpleasant stuff online and don’t know how to tell you.

Why not watch it first then…

ask your teen what they think….

or ask the school to show it during PSHE ( citizenship ) then ask them what they thought…

Be careful though – don’t let your  teen watch this on  their own personal login, as they might get sent ‘related videos’ of an unsafe nature. 

Use your own login….or leave the logon to school staff….

Creepy Naked Stuff

So often the resources for young people about pornography are based on the assumption that they have already seen pornographic content online.

We have created a video for children and tweenagers to begin conversation about the content they may see online proactively, before they are likely to have seen content.

There is also a booklet and PowerPoint for equipping parents to talk to their children about pornographies, which may also useful for practitioners.  You can access the resource HERE.

Don’t forget that we are here to love our children unconditionally…

This video might open up an avenue of conversation that makes you feel uncomfortable but don’t be too quick to dismiss it .

Every time your child shares guilt, shame or even just curiosity, treat it as an opportunity to get closer and bring about positive results. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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F.L.A.S.H.

Very excited to be travelling to Colchester next week to meet the FLASH team and spend time studying with them.

If you live in the Colchester area and are affected by self-harm in your family, do check out this important ministry at :-

http://www.theministryofparenting.com/parents/helpful-articles/flash-families-learning-about-self-harm-workshops/

Also mightily blessed by a friend who has arranged for me to stay with her family – so no impersonal hotel room for me this time. Feeling spoiled…

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Kate Middleton speaks out.

 

Image result for kate middleton on mental health

 

image courtesy of http://www.people.com

 

Well done to Kate Middleton for getting involved in Place2Be. With all her wealth and power she could choose to do anything she wishes. It is so encouraging to see that her heart is toward children who suffer the stigma of mental health and emotional issues. Oh that our government would catch the truth of her words and stop cutting back vital funding to this area of the NHS. Early intervention is so key to the emotional well-being of our children.

“I have seen time and time again that the roots of poor mental health in adulthood are almost always present in unresolved childhood challenges.” 

You can get the entire article and a video of her speech here :-

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/kate-middleton/12003721/Kate-Middleton-speaks-about-child-mental-health-at-Place2Be-Headteacher-Conference.html

 

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God Heals

I came across this on doorofhopeforteens whose web details are below. It is very similar to the principles in Celebrate Recovery,  a course I attended a couple of years ago. The principals are great for parents and young people alike. Why not spend some time going through them and visit door of hope (based in the USA ).  If these words speak to you and you are in the UK why not look up www.celebraterecovery.co.uk

GOD HEALS…..

Get Help. I admit that I am powerless on my own, and that I need help

Open your heart. I know that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He is the only One who has the power to heal my pain.

Depend on Jesus. I realize I need to turn my life over to Christ. I need to
depend on Him in all areas of my life, including all that I say, think and do.

Hear and speak. I agree to evaluate my life and confess my faults to myself, to
God, and to someone that I trust.

Embrace God’s Way. I will stop doing things my way and put my life on the path that leads toward God’s way.

Ask for forgiveness. I will offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, and I will ask for forgiveness for any wrong I have done to others.

Live for God. I will set aside some time for God each day to examine my life,
read my Bible, and pray so that I have power to live God’s way.

Support Others. I will take the message that “G.O.D. H.E.A.L.S.” to others in need and share it by my words and actions

 

Reproduced from :-

http://www.doorofhope4teens.org/life-hurts-god-heals-1.html

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EWMHS in Essex

Sometimes parents of those who self harm feel under intense pressure to go along with the professionals’ referral programmes, which quite often leads to non- compliance from their children. At a recent NELFT meeting I was pleased to hear that they will accept self referrals, which means that the sufferer feels more in control of their circumstances. Since self harm is often a coping mechanism used to gain control over circumstances where suffers feel powerless, it is important to give young people choice. For too long they have been expected to voice their deep seated insecurities to strangers who they may not trust. If they have chosen to seek someone’s help, then surely they are more likely to open up and find healing.

Of course we can gently guide them to safe places, rather than simply hope that they choose sensibly.

 

If you are in Essex you may wish to look at the NHS organisation NELFT who has introduced a new Emotional Wellbeing and Mental Health Service.

http://www.nelft.nhs.uk/news-events/nelft-launches-new-emotional-wellbeing-and-mental-health-service-and-welcomes-223-new-ewmhs-staff-1903/

 

How to access our service if you are a young person/concerned parent/care giver/guardian/professional or  responsible adult of a young person living in Southend, Essex or Thurrock?

 

We’ve made it as easy as possible to contact our EWMHS.

We just have one main EWMHS number to remember during working hours:

0300 300 1600.

9am-5pm, Monday to Friday

Parents, care givers, guardians, professionals and responsible adults can access our service by either making an appointment to see your young person’s GP with them, or accessing our service for information by calling our central phone number 0300 300 1600 and speaking to one of our specialist emotional wellbeing and mental health staff.

 

• By self-referral, via a phone call to the main EWMHS phone number 0300 300 1600

EWMHS aims to meet the needs of young people up to the age of 18 or those with Special Needs up to the age of 25.

This information is obviously only useful to those who live in Essex UK, and Asha very much welcomes comments and posts from viewers who may know of other such schemes and organisations wherever they are in the world. 

Please add your comments below. Many Thanks

 

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School Pressures Cause Self Harm….

We have been trying to address this issue for too long now. Parents please let your child know that they are valuable to you no matter what their exam results are. Don’t let them be harassed by a system that does not value them for themselves but only for their results.

https://www.tes.com/news/school-news/breaking-news/stress-can-cause-pupils-self-harm-say-nearly-half-school-staff

 

 

 

 

 

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